In my dreams this would be a mint green cutey, a Nissan Figaro, or some fabulous rockabilly inspired number. In reality it's likely to be some old banger of a vehicle which draws embarassing attention to oneself, cue Simon's from the Inbetweeners canary yellow Fiat with mismatching red door here.
The dream... |
The reality. |
Before I ramble on and attempt to find some complex mathematical equation that proves why we're better off taking public transport, there are those troublesome driving lessons to think of. I've always assumed that because women have this super-human ability to multitask (and we do fellas) I too could use these abilities to aid me in learning to drive. How wrong I was.
Driving is not just a simple recipe of mirrors,signal, manoeuvre, it's more like playing with a Rubiks Cube.You think you've got the knack of it when suddenly there's a mismatching coloured cube in the way and the whole game ends up being an highly unenjoyable, frustrating and tedious task.
For me, driving is much the same, I thought I'd mastered the basics of moving off, steering and stopping when a pesky coloured cube stood in my way. Turns out roads aren't straight and you have to steer around corners! Tusk...Turning left is fine, it feels natural but steering the car right feels very well...unnatural.You have to edge the vehicle straight into the road and then sort of swing the car in a swift motion to avoid any chance of a collision.Oh and did I mention, you have to signal, check your mirrors and ensure there is no oncoming traffic...not a great deal to worry about then.
Then there are the dreaded gears to think of, how do you even know when to change gear? I'm still only fleeting between first and second so this doesn't greatly affect me at present but of course it will, it inevitably will. People tell me to listen to the purr of the engine, having never driven or bothered to pay attention to a cars purr before I'm at a loss as to what it should sound like.
Another troublesome square is other drivers, or in my case avoiding other drivers, they come from every direction surrounding you like a pack of wolves. I'm particularly concerned of those cars behind me, namely in case I brake too hard and am the root cause of an accident. However, it also bothers me that I'm driving at a snails pace and a queue of frustrated drivers is building up in the distance. My instructor tells me not to worry, that 'they were learners once', but I can't help feeling apologetic about my scaredy cat incapability to speed up. In fact perhaps my 'L' plates should be adapted to 'S' plates, for 'Sorry' or well, you know... 'S***'.
So you may be thinking if I'm clearly not enjoying it, why not just give it up? Well, in my mind learning to drive is like a Rubik's cube, you should try, try and try again until you get the hang of it and the coloured cubes should, eventually, fall into place.
Photo: http://uk.autoblog.com/2011/03/11/inbetweeners-car-goes-up-for-sale-on-ebay/